Happy Monday, RG2E Peeps!!!
What if Santa had a double knee replacement and had to put his BFF Father Time and The Mom Squad’s Grams in charge of The Big Red Ride?
That’s exactly what’s happened in our very first Stuck with a Series Christmas Novella!!!
For STUCK WITH SLEIGH BELLS, think Castle and Beckett and The Good Witch in Whoville…
Here’s a Sneak Peek at Chapter One:
And no, I ain’t ringin’ some bell at a Salvation Army pot. Although, I do take part in that each holiday season.
But not today, folks. Not today.
I’m jinglin’ these damn sleigh bells as fast as my scrawny arms can shake ‘em ‘cause word has it that doing so this time of year could have some major ramifications.
First of all, it damn sure beats swallowing rocks. Would you believe that’s what those stupid ass Neanderthal cave men used to do? Before they figured out how to make bells, they swallowed rocks so their distended bellies would jingle when they were ready to mate. Romantic, right?
So, anyhoo…let’s get to my bells. Oh, but first, I’d better tell ya a bit about me.
I’m Lucy Weiss, retired from running my award-winning Meat n’ Three Diner in Nashville, Tennessee. Yep. Right there in Music City sits my diner, Lucy’s LunchBox Cafe. Every day, we serve up the Holy Trinity of White Vegetables – mac and cheese, white beans and mashed taters – plus the meat of your choice, barbecued, of course. Thus, we’re a Meat ‘n Three Diner. I can never understand why people can’t figure that out. But anyway, I’m Lucy. Although, my friends and family just call me Grams.
I guess I’m also a bit of what kids nowadays call a Quant. That’s a fancy name for one helluva computer genius – aka hacker. I can totally rock ‘n’ roll across any keyboard. And I can do things you ain’t never seen with a mouse.
Now then…about these bells…
I have it on good authority that ringing sleigh bells with gusto can not only ward off bad luck and evil spirits, and trust me, in this family, that’s important stuff. But also, these bells can attract meteorites!
Now, how cool would it be to see Santa Claus comin’ to town ridin’ the big ass tail of a meteorite?!
Okay. Just kidding…sort of. That’s not the reason I’m ringin’ bells. But, for the record, I do think Santa arriving by meteorite would be totally awesome.
And, since I’m gonna be piloting his sleigh this year, I do have a say in its operation. That’s right. You heard it straight from the main elf’s mouth. I, Lucy Weiss, am finally going to be able to check off the top item on my Bucket List, which is to be at the helm of Santa’s sleigh on the most magickal night of all nights. Yes indeed, hold onto your Santa hats! I’m in charge of this year’s Big Red Ride.
I’m so excited about this opportunity that I could stand out here, at Santa’s North Pole, along the fabulous shores of Lake Michigan, and jingle these damn bells all day long!
But wait…there’s more!
I’ve also been told by one of my sources that, if I’m the first sleigh bell dingler of the season, I’ll herald the arrival of Dietger, the gaily-clad King of Winter and his splendiferous Ice Court. Now, mind you, I’m a huge fan of the Ice Capades, but I’m thinkin’ this might even top that. Who’d settle for just reindeer when you could have reindeer on your roof-top and the Ice Capades too?!
That brings me to exactly why I’m putting everything I’ve got into shakin’ these bells.
I also have my own King of Winter, and he’ll be my sidekick in this grand adventure. That would be my significant other, and Santa’s BFF, Father Time. I hooked up with him last year during one helluva holiday hullabaloo right here at George and Suzie Witherspoon’s gingerbread house – aka Santa and Mrs. Claus’ North Pole.
But my Babycakes, Father Time, has some serious issues. Ever since Baby New Year busted his hourglass, he’s been in quite a funk. Nobody messes with Father Time’s scythe or his hourglass. And talk about bad timing. We’ve got exactly one month to pull off Christmas, so timing is EVERYTHING!
Luckily though, I’ve now got him trained better than one of Pavlov’s dogs. No more of that “like sands through the hourglass” soap opera baloney. In a manner of speaking, he’s been saved by the bells. Well, that or he’ll be salivating like hell.
Here he comes now…
Poor guy. He looks like he’s in a drunk and dazed stupor. Speaking of which, he drinks way too much of that silly elf Wanda Lu’s brandy and cocoa. Well, at least it takes his mind off of that damn hourglass. And…it makes the stress of being in charge of The Big Red Ride somewhat tolerable.
Now then…who would like an Ebook Gift Copy of STUCK WITH SLEIGH BELLS?! Let us know below, and you just might win one!!!
Here’s to wishing each of you a fabulous holiday season!!! — D. D. Scott and David Slegg
P.S. And thanks sooo very much to all of you fab RG2E Peeps for making STUCK WITH A STIFF (Book One of The Stuck with a Series) hit Amazon’s Top 100 Bestselling Police Procedurals List and for making STUCK WITH A SPELL (Book Two) hit Amazon’s Top 100 Bestselling Occult Books List. U rock!!! Welcome Back to our Stuck with a Series World!!!
The Best of RG2E Reading Wishes — D. D. Scott, RG2E Founder